Things My Kids Say in the Car

We've been in the car a lot lately, jetting from soccer camp to Tae Kwon Do to swim lessons. I should probably put some yellow caution tape around my suburban. The bowels of the beast look like a bomb built of sunscreen, cookies, string cheese wrappers, and Capri Suns has exploded. You definitely don't want to look underneath the booster seats. Something is growing there and I don't know what it is. I should probably contact NASA to come take samples.

Here's a smattering of dialogue from our week in the car...


"Mom, did George Washington die of "the age?"

"They have weird animals in the great jungles of Canada."

"They found some aliens, mom. It's true! I saw it on Fox."

"Mom, Jack from my class thinks you're hot." (Thank you, Jack)

"Mom, the ball hit her in the Pa-China."

"Mom, I'm pretty sure I just saw Miley Cyrus at the mall."

"I am a Canadian robot. I am a Canadian robot. I am a Canadian robot. I am a Canadian robot."

"Is Barack Obama nice to animals? I would vote for someone who liked dogs."

"Did you know lizards can lick their own eyeballs?"



"Mom, are you afraid of snakes?"
"Yes, buddy."
"What about an eyelash viper?"
"Yes."
"A green mamba?"
"Yes."
"A gopher snake?"
"Yes."
"A rattlesnake?"
"Yes."
"What about a python?"
"Um, yes."
"Oh. Then, can I get a frog?"
"No."