I have a huge bone to pick.
Yesterday, while reading the latest TIME Magazine, I happened upon an article highlighting the latest trend in dating/ matchmaking sites. Wait for it....SITES THAT INTENTIONALLY FACILITATE EXTRA-MARITAL AFFAIRS. Sites that overtly CAPITALIZE on troubled marriages and tantalizingly advertise that "...humans were not made to be monogamous" and "your secret is safe with us." They lure married men and women to their site promising to find them the perfect adulterous liason, even charging their clients' credit cards under a neutral, unsuspicious name. Adultery on the internet is not a new concept but, the brazen unapologetic nature of this new brand of internet cheating has me shocked to the core.
Thankfully, the tone of the TIME article was a condemning one. The author was nearly as incredulous and angry as I in his treatment of the topic. Upon reading about these sites, a strong, metallic taste filled my mouth and my stomach turned instantly queasy.
Marriage is hard enough without sites like these, falsely promising consequence free infidelity. The promise, however, is a false one. Adultery is never consequence free. Affairs are messy, explosive, volatile things that leave shards of glass and shrapnel everywhere. Just ask anyone who has cheated or been cheated on. Just ask the kids of the cheaters. Co-workers, friends, family, and neighbors also find themselves picking shrapnel out of their skin in the aftermath of an affair.
My husband and I have been in ministry for 15 years together the most painful things, besides death, that we have counseled people through is extra-marital affairs (both the online and flesh and blood kind). They are painful when exposed and painful when they are secret. There are always far reaching consequences and devastating casualties. And, the secret never lasts long.
While touting the amazing features of his site, the CEO of one of these companies was asked by the TIME reporter, "How would you feel if your wife used this site?" He answered, "I would be devastated."