You know you're getting older when.....

Let me begin this post by saying that I’m not technically old. Early thirties is not old. I’m younger than my husband and younger than a lot of my friends. In fact, my very good friends/ neighbors were teasing me about being the young one on the block last Saturday night (You know who you are, Grandma). I can literally feel some of my readers rolling their eyes at the title of this post as they think, “Oh, just wait. You have no idea what old is. You’re practically a teenager.” Fair enough, fair enough. But, I still have some complaints.

Lately I’ve had these humbling moments that scream, “You are AGING.” Generally speaking, my knees hurt when I run, my metabolism is slowing down, loud restaurants irritate me and I have no clue what movies are out or what new band is worth listening to. I don’t know if these are the result of aging or motherhood but, I’ve been able to explain them away. A cold day explains the creaky knees, the metabolism just needs me to take more vitamins, intolerance of high volume at restaurants just means I’m tired from a day of raising kids…

I cannot, however, continue to explain away my fading eyesight. That sounds a bit dramatic. Rest assured, I’m not going blind or anything. But, let me tell you a little story.

I have been trying to find a job. Well, not a job-job. I was a high school English teacher in my pre-Washington life (and a damn good one, if I do say so myself!) But, now I'm a full time mom, pastor’s wife and Chief Community Volunteer. I volunteer at my kids’ school, I coach a soccer team, I’m leading a service trip to South Africa, I speak at conferences at our church…. A job-job would not permit me to keep those crazy commitments. So, I’m searching for the perfect job that would let me keep my current life the way it is. Stop laughing.

My dream is to write and get paid for it. That and change the world for free. I’m working on both crafts but, have been focusing on the former this fall. I’ve read books on marketing oneself and how to pitch your stuff to editors and how to tolerate massive amounts of rejection. Also have read the books on writing the most killer resume ever. Bear with me, this is all part of the back story of aging, I promise.

The easiest way to get paid for the penned word is copywriting. So, I decided to try my hand at it and found a few web sites that act as the middle man between writers and clients. They find the work, which is half the battle, and then hire you to write really boring copy for them. I took the bait and signed up. They were promising 20 cents a word, which is a REALLY good rate for writing boring copy. I wrote my little heart out about topics such as “Understanding Financial Responsibility Law” and “Including Pet Coverage in Auto Insurance Policies.” According to my calculations, I was about to receive an $800 check. And then, I enlarged the print on my screen. What I thought said 20 cents a word, ACTUALLY said $.02 a word. That's right, I COULDN'T SEE THE 0 in front of the 2. People, that is 2 pennies per word. My check shrunk before my eyes. Instead of $800 for 10 hours of work, I would be paid $80.

I have an appointment with the eye doctor next week.