Resurfacing

I woke up yesterday morning with an incredibly strange, light-hearted feeling. If you’ve read some of my previous posts, you’ll know that I haven’t felt at all light-hearted lately. We’re in the midst of some big, hard transitions – in our family, in friendships, and even in our church. My life has definitely not been void of joy, however - quite the opposite. I’ve felt intensely happy and intensely broken, often in the same breath. Living with such intense emotion all the time leaves me feeling sort of heavy (not a veiled Back to the Future reference), as you can imagine.

But, yesterday, when I opened my swollen eyes, expecting my body to groan in rebellion to the offensive clanging of the alarm clock, I instead felt immediately ready to take on the day. I felt light. I even had the teensiest little spring in my step.

It reminded me of the Disney movie Wall-e, when the white robot, Eve, finds a singular tender green plant, and that one little shoot is enough to eventually bring the entire human population back to earth. I felt like there was some promising new growth in my soul yesterday, some new source of oxygen to fuel my journey.

I made lunches, made breakfast, got kids off to school, volunteered in Duzi’s Kindergarten class, called a few friends I haven’t talked to in months, got some work done for the job I’m still pretending I have, and generally felt great – and by great, I mean more like myself.

Adoption, Life Transition, and Ministry are all like a roller coaster – unpredictable, with significant highs and lows. Today I’m paying attention to the small steps of progress, to the little plant taking root.

I’m resurfacing slowly, and it feels pretty darn good.