We don't have bears (sorry, Matt!) but we do have a host of other forest friends. Woodpeckers, raccoons, birds, squirrels, an occasional coyote, owls, bats, and quail all live in our yard. Snow White would be in heaven. Usually our interaction with the wildlife is pleasant. They do their thing and we do ours.
Sadly, one beast has crossed the line. It has violated the peace treaty we have all been abiding by for the last four years. For the past three months, a red breasted robin has been incessantly pecking at our front window, from dawn until dusk, determined to break in. He pecks, then, with a loud thud, hurls himself full force at the glass. Then, while the pain wears off, he just sort of jumps at it. What does he want? The china? The electronics? Access to indoor plumbing? I have asked everyone I know what we should do to help this bird move on peaceably. Nothing has worked. Clearly, he has an unhealthy obsession with our family and has become fixated on an impossible task. Perhaps his mother pushed him out of the nest too soon. Perhaps she pushed him out too late.
We're actively taking suggestions. So far the only ones making sense involve weaponry.